Taking Time Out To Appreciate Beauty

Taking the easy way out today...too much going on. I had a blog post in mind but neither the time nor energy to write it...feeling kinda funky hormonally today...either that or it's allergies. Got this in an email from a faith sharing friend, and it's a message we all could benefit from...

In Washington, DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception – forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and people's priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made ...

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Enjoy life now....you never know when things will change.

Rediscovering the Feminine Face of God...

Holy cow….here it is Holy Week, and only five days away from Easter. How did that happen so quickly? Life has been a total whirlwind these past 6 weeks, but in a very, very good way. Before Lent started, my life was (once again) careening out of control—not in a destructive way--but in an over-committed way. I was saying yes to too many things, had far more on my plate than I could handle, and was starting to miss deadlines and fall further and further behind.

So I decided that for Lent I would *Just Say No.* I would take on no new projects, meet no new people, make no new appointments, accept no new social invitations, volunteer for nothing new. For the six weeks of Lent, I would only complete projects already begun, honor commitments already made, and spend time with people already in my life rather than seek out any new connections.

One of those commitments was what I call *doing Lent.* This means fully immersing myself in the practice of Lent, in the hope of gaining spiritual renewal and rebirth. Not that I was suffering spiritually to start with. But with all that busyness, I was getting further and further away from what feeds me spiritually, and I was feeling the disconnect, and noticing the drain on my soul.

So I went into Lent with the best of intentions, planning to fully participate in the myriad Lenten activities offered by my parish, immerse myself in reflection and renewal, maybe even blog about the meaning and traditions of Lent.

Turned out I didn’t need all of that. All I needed to find my renewal in Lent was three nights with the parish mission speaker, Edwina Gately, and several evenings with the women's speaker series our parish now puts on annually during the weeks leading up to Easter.

The good news about finding my answers so quickly, was I was able to get right to work on implementing my new spiritual practices, and my, what a difference they have made. (More on this some other time.) Let’s just say that this is one Lenten season that will see me totally refreshed and renewed, thanks to the hard work, dedication, and devotion of so many women of faith, most of whom I am blessed to know through my own faith life and parish.

The creators of our women's speaker series, Sophia’s Circle, are nothing short of amazing. For years untold this faith-sharing group of about a dozen women talked of offering in love something uniquely feminine and uplifting for their spiritual sisters in our parish, and finally, three years ago, they were able to pull it all together and offer their first speaker series.

They didn’t expect much attendance. Spring is a busy time for women in this small town farming community. Winter doesn’t give way to spring gracefully around here, and in March and April you’re just as likely to be driving to church in a blizzard as you are in shorts and flip flops.

So imagine their surprise that first year when each night of the 6-week series, attendance grew, until well over 100 women showed up. Imagine their surprise when they started out big right away with the second year’s series.

Imagine the time, energy, effort, and creativity that had to go into brainstorming, planning, and executing a whole new series this year. Expectations had been raised in the past two years, hungers had been awakened, and now it was time to deliver.

And deliver they did, in a powerful four-week series that centered around the words Purpose, Passion, Power, and Peace. The series was no less effective for being two weeks shorter than before. Easter is late this year, and people are busy with taking advantage of dry roads and growing things. The words they chose to focus on meshed beautifully, and created a cohesive message of renewal and rebirth representative of the positive face of Lent.

Purpose…the speakers encouraged us to look deep into our hearts, find that which we love, and focus on that as our purpose in life. Sometimes our desires are in conflict with God’s purpose for our life, but eventually we come around, be it by the long, hard road, or the quicker and somewhat less painful one. I say *somewhat* because God never promised there would be no pain in our lives, only that He would be there to share our burdens, maybe even turn them into blessings.

So which route you take to find your Purpose in Life depends on your relationship with God. But either way, if you don’t find it—and that’s not to say your purpose can’t change over time—you most likely won’t be a happy camper and your life will not be as full and rich as it could be. You’ll be like a puzzle piece, part of a whole, but with holes in your life that need to be filled if you aren’t connected to the rest of the puzzle.

So go into the silence, search your heart, find your Purpose, and then pursue it with Passion. I missed the week on passion, unfortunately, as that was opening night for the high school musical and I was there to witness my son and several of his friends’ passion for singing and dancing instead. But I don’t think I’m lacking in that department. If you have any doubt, read my PMDD blog post, They Only See Our Failures.

I repeat: Find your purpose, and pursue it with Passion.

The third week, we were reminded of our Power as women. Women as healers, women as caregivers, caretakers, peacemakers and nurturers, generously endowed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. A candlelight meditation brought the overwhelming amount of positive energy in the room into clear focus. In this week we celebrated the feminine face of God, which goes by many names, including Mother God, Sophia, and Wisdom. We ended the evening arm in arm, singing along with Libby Roderick’s How Could Anyone Ever Tell You (you were anything less than beautiful?).

Find your Purpose, and pursue it with Passion. You have the Power within you.

The final week, our focus was on Peace. Being at peace with ourselves, our relationships, relatives, situations, circumstances and perceived failures, walking in trust with God that all is as it should be and we shouldn’t waste our time and energy on blame, worry, anxiety, and fear. Again, during the meditation, I clearly felt the creative energy and power in that room, as well as a pervading sense of peace that comes to me more and more frequently these days, due in part to my Qigong classes three times a week.

Peace, as it turns out, was the special word I took home from last year’s women's speaker series, and I have made great strides in that area in the past twelve months. Would I have done the same without attending the series? I don’t know, and does it really matter? What matters is that my life seems to be falling into a pattern of Purpose and Passion, Power and Peace that this year’s speaker series has only validated from without, and that is a good and positive thing.

I know where I’m going, even if I don’t yet know how I will get there, but I have the Power and Passion to follow my Purpose, and the Peace of knowing God supports me all the way.

Thank you, women of Sophia’s Circle, for once again bringing us closer to our God, in whatever form we choose to view Him or Her, and to the women we were meant to be.

Tips for Successful Family Gatherings

Now that the holidays are over, how did your family gathering fare? Was it fun and full of happy memories, or are you just glad it’s over? Are you considering never attending another family event? Would you like to forget you even have a family? If so, you’ve come to the right place.

The easiest piece of advice if your family is toxic to you would be to Just Say No, and tell you never to go back, for your own sake and self-preservation. But life isn’t that cut and dried. There are a lot of us who genuinely would like to get along with our families and have our family gatherings filled with happy memories of good times shared. There are also a lot of us, who, for one reason or another, simply aren’t willing or ready to make that kind of a break with our fundamental family ties…because without family, even a dysfunctional family, what are we, but alone?

Nobody likes to be alone. Especially on the holidays, when, according to what see on television, everyone else is out having the time of their lives.

So today I want to offer some positive thoughts and information on things you can do to make your future family gatherings, be they over the holidays or for any family occasion, a little more pleasant.

1. Lower your expectations: Most people go into the holidays with Norman Rockwell expectations and end up deeply disappointed, even depressed and suicidal. Where do most of these expectations come from? Your television. Starting in October, advertisements abound showing happy families gathering and sharing their holiday joy. Keep in mind that these advertisements are designed to sell you products, and are not a realistic representation of what goes on in most families.

Just like skinny runway models are not true representations of the average woman, warm and fuzzy advertisements with everyone laughing and smiling around a holiday table as they pass the food and drink are not true representations of a holiday family gathering. They are somebody’s image of an ideal—and ideals are extremely hard to reproduce in everyday real life.

And don’t blame yourself if your holiday event falls short of the idealized version you see on TV. This is tantamount to blaming yourself for not having a body as hot as your favorite movie star’s. Looking good is what they get paid to do. If you got paid to look that good, you would, too. Any woman can look sexy with the right hair, clothes, and make up. If you don’t have access to the same spas, trainers, dieticians, life-coaches, cooks, housekeepers, nannies, drivers, and secretaries or assistants they do, then how can you expect yourself to look as good as they do?

Same with the happy families on TV. If you don’t have access to the same funds and production crews that they do, how can your family gathering, be it for a holiday or wedding, be as picture perfect as they portray theirs to be? They probably don’t even know each other! They’re just a bunch of strangers acting like a happy family.

So don’t fall for the emotional hype. Work with what you have, and stop trying to imitate some marketing specialist’s unrealistic image of what your family gatherings should be like.

2. Arrive with a smile and determination to look for nuggets of good humor throughout the day. If someone brings up a topic you’d rather not discuss, just smile and say, “Gee, I really haven’t thought much about that lately.” Then excuse yourself to head off for the food and or drink, maybe even asking if there is anything you can bring back for them. (If you're already at the table, pick up the nearest serving dish and offer some food. "Would you like some more mashed potatoes?") Switch the focus to them, in a non-confrontational way. Don’t let them get your goat. Once you’ve returned with whatever they might have asked for, or passed the green beans, just smile and say, “Here you go,” and then move on. Either way, the uncomfortable topic has been diverted.

3. Use the event as an opportunity for growth as a person. Practice the skills of patience, kindness, tolerance, acceptance, and/or self-control. Congratulate yourself every time you manage to take the high road and not snap out at the person who is trying to get you to lose your cool, either deliberately or inadvertently. Use it as an opportunity to learn about how you “don’t” want to be.

4. Set your intention to have a good time, no matter what. Get a good night’s sleep beforehand. Arrive rested and relaxed. Read up and prepare yourself to view the gathering as a spiritual event. One in which you know your spirit will be challenged, and you refuse to let anyone shake your good mood. One of the best books I’ve ever read that has to do with dealing with difficult people is Thank You For Being Such a Pain, by Mark Rosen.

5. Eliminate three words from your vocabulary for the day -- Always, Never, and Ever. The reasons why are explained in this article.

6. Stay sober. I know this is a hard one, because a lot of people use alcohol to get through the day, thinking it’s the only way they will be able to deal with it, but in truth alcohol only contributes to the problem, because it magnifies whatever issues are already on the table, or lurking just beneath the surface.

7. Don’t choose sides in any conflict that develops. Period.

8. Stay away from discussions involving sex, politics, and religion. Arrive prepared with alternate topics to bring up…bring photos of the kids or your last vacation. Anything important to you or your family that you’d like to share. Try not to get your feelings hurt if your efforts to share are ignored or dismissed. Congratulate yourself for at least having the willingness to try.

9. Invite a friend or two who might have nowhere else to go for the holiday dinner. Sometimes bringing new people into the situation will help to keep unruly relatives on their best behavior. Or will at least make them consider restraining themselves in the presence of guests.

10. Drive separately, so that you can escape if need be. If you can’t leave the house, then leave the room. Go into the kitchen and see if you can help there. Busy yourself with clearing plates and empty drink glasses/cans. Or just go and refill your own drink. Maybe spend some time in the bathroom, practicing deep breathing exercises. Go for a walk if you can. While you’re in the bathroom or on that walk, call a friend you’ve arranged to call beforehand if things get dicey. Enlist some moral support, and do it guilt-free.

11. And it may well go against the grain, but if you feel you absolutely must go to the family gathering, then go and aim for one positive encounter during the event, and build from there. Next time aim for two, and privately celebrate your successes. It might take a few years to get where you want to be, but if this is your family, or your mate’s family, you’ll have as many years as you need to, to work on it.

12. Another sanity-saving option is to arrive late and leave early. Simply limit your time with your closest relatives, so that whatever of the above you might be willing to try has a bigger chance of success.

Below are some other excellent resources for success:Overall tips on dealing with holiday stress:

The Happiness Project: Eight Tips for Dealing With Difficult Relatives over the Holidays

This article from Spiritual Zen has some really good ideas, such as be prepared and have a plan, seek to understand rather than be understood, and know when enough is enough.

And for the less spiritual and more practical among us: Practical Tips for Dealing With Difficult Relatives Over the Holidays

When all else fails, disengage.

Because sometimes nothing less than Just Say No will do. Plan an alternate holiday gathering/event and proceed with it guilt-free, telling your family you’re simply taking a break and will see them next time.

It Never Hurts to Pray

Feeling a bit under the weather this week, so will have to pass on my Sunday Inspirational as well as FWL. I had such a nice one in mind, too. Unfortunately, I never got around to writing it. Next week, for sure.

In the meantime, here's a prayer for you that pretty much says what's in my heart at the moment, once again sent to me by a friend in an email. I'd also like to welcome all the new followers to my blog in recent weeks. You know who you are :) Thank you, and I appreciate that you stop by. I'll be posting regularly again soon.

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day,
I thank You for my being able to see
and to hear this morning.
I'm blessed because You are
a forgiving God and
an understanding God.
You have done so much for me
and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything
I have done, said or thought
that was not pleasing to you.

I ask now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe
from all danger and harm.
Help me to start this day
with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each and every day
to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.
Please broaden my mind
that I can accept all things.
Let me not whine and whimper
over things I have no control .

And give me the best response
When I'm pushed beyond my limits.

I know that when I can't pray,
You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will.
Continue to bless me that I may be
a blessing to others.
Keep me strong that I may help the weak...
Keep me uplifted that I may have
words of encouragement for others.
I pray for those that are lost
and can't find their way.
I pray for those that are misjudged
and misunderstood.
I pray for those who
don't know You intimately.
I pray for those that will delete this
without sharing it with others
I pray for those that don't believe.

But I thank You that I believe
that God changes people and
God changes things.
I pray for all my sisters and brothers.
For each and every family member
in their households.
I pray for peace, love and joy
in their homes; that they are out of debt
and all their needs are met.
I pray that every eye that reads this
knows there is no problem, circumstance,
or situation greater than God.
Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.
I pray that these words be received
into the hearts of every eye that sees it
in Jesus' name. Amen!

PMDD and the Water Lily

For once, I don’t know where to begin. Me, at a loss for words, can you believe that? I’ve just been so busy focusing on Lent and Easter and trying to keep up with everything around here, trying to keep my life in balance, mind, body, heart and soul, that I haven’t had time to think about blogging.

One new thing I’m working on is a website for my PMDD book, which is meeting with resistance finding an editor or agent to represent it. Most of the publishing houses I researched won’t accept submissions without an agent, and the agents I queried overwhelmingly said that without a certain set of initials behind my name to lend the book credibility or a co-author with the necessary initials, no publisher will touch it.

Funny, how living with something for forty years doesn’t give you enough credibility to write about it.

Platform is everything these days. When you approach a publisher, you need to come with a ready-made audience. My only audience is you guys, and I’m not willing to turn this into a full-time blog for PMDD, so I have to create a new one.

So I’m walking at the Y, participating in my 100 miles in 100 days challenge, just going around in circles around the track and letting my mind wander, when an image of a water lily comes to me, fully formed, along with the words, Living on a Prayer, Living with PMDD. For that’s what it’s like, living with PMDD, and in the past ten years, I’ve learned nothing short of my faith is going to get me through it.

The problem with coming up with ideas like that out of the blue, is that either have to drop what you’re doing and at least write down the idea, or try to hold onto it until you get home and can do something about it. I managed to finish my walk, then went home and hit the internet, looking for pictures of water lilies. I found the perfect one three pictures in (not the one above), but of course (being slightly OCD), had to keep looking to see if there were any better ones available.

There weren’t any better ones, but there were a ton of options. And so my idea began to expand. I contacted my favorite web designer, who designed this blog and the accompanying website, and she said to send her the pictures I’d chosen and we’ll come up with something.
So that’s where that is right now.

In the meantime, I wanted to know…Why a water lily? I’m not really into flowers, and don’t like the water at all, especially dark, murky water, so I looked up the symbolism of water lilies.

This is what I discovered: Lotus: Water Lily: The Lotus flower is symbolic of rebirth, but in addition to its religious meaning, the lotus is also a symbol of all that is true, good and beautiful, representing good fortune, peace, and enlightenment…In modern times the meaning of a lotus flower links closely with religious symbolism and meaning. A lotus represents life in general. As the lotus flower grows up from the mud into an object of great beauty, people also grow and change into something more beautiful. So the symbol represents the struggle of life at its most basic form. Lotus flower symbols are also popular for people who have gone through a hard time and are now coming out of it. Like the flower they have been at the bottom in the muddy pond but have risen above this to be an object of beauty or represent a life of beauty as the case may be. Thus the lotus flower or blossom can also represent a hard time in life that has been overcome.

I’d say that captures my (or any woman’s) struggle with PMDD perfectly. And since Easter is about rebirth, and the word I received from the women’s program at church during Lent was peace, and I’ve been looking for more ways to share my faith journey with others…the Water Lily is the perfect symbol for my new venture.

All I know is it didn’t come from me, so it must be a sign that this is the next step I need to take on my path.

Stay tuned and we’ll see :)

The Power of Sharing Our Stories

This week I attended the last program of our women’s series on healing at my church. This one was a recap of the four previous programs and ended up with a segment on sharing. We were invited to share our journey over the past five weeks, what we’ve learned, how our life has changed because of what we’ve experienced through attending the sessions.

The second week each participant chose a word from a basket of little pieces of paper with one word each on them. The idea was to meditate on that word and find out what special meaning it had in your life. I missed that week, so I got my word later. It wasn’t until this week, and people began sharing, that I realized everyone got a different word. For some reason, I had thought they just put five or six standard words in the basket and recycled them. But no. They had prepared 120 words, and each participant received the word that was especially meant for her at this point in her life.

As each woman who chose to speak stood and explained what her word was, and the meaning she found in it, the stories that unfolded were both heartwarming and tragic. There’s so much pain in the world, and women, who are relational, and who have awesome powers of endurance, seem to be the ones chosen to carry that pain. We care about the people we love, the people we serve, and in doing so, take their pain as our own.

Our church also has a special ministry, called the prayer shawl ministry. It was started by a woman whose sister was dying and while in her hospital bed, she received a prayer shawl to comfort her. A prayer shawl is one that has been knitted for the specific purpose of providing comfort to someone in need, and has been blessed and prayed over by the prayer shawl group after one member creates it. The person who creates it and the person who receives it most often will never meet, but you can also receive a prayer shawl from a friend, as I have.

This woman lost her sister, but brought the prayer shawl idea home, and started a new ministry within the church. Now they meet twice a week to knit shawls and bless them for others. Since the program was started, they have given out nearly 300 prayer shawls.

Since the evening’s topic was sharing, a few women had come prepared with stories to tell, to get the ball rolling. Each was visibly shaken by the telling, and broke down in tears. The women who listened, or received these stories into our hearts, were also visibly affected. Sniffles and hugs and hand holding and comforting rubs on the back abounded.

Then other women stood and voluntarily offered their stories, mostly about the word they had chosen and how they had tied it into their lives. Some of the words mentioned were trust, choices, focus, faith, healing, and solitude. One woman said when she read her word, she thought, “What a stupid word.” After the laughter died down, nods and murmurs of agreement ensued.

But in each case, the woman agreed that God knew what He was doing, when He presented her with that word, and reflecting on it had changed her way of thinking.

At the end, the prayer shawl ministry leader rose and asked if the group could present shawls to the women among us most in need of comfort. No one turned one down. Would you? Six shawls were brought out and prayed over by all of us, then lovingly draped across the shoulders of the women who had shared, and smiles and hugs ensued all around.

It was a powerful, moving experience. And the comment was made that we are all sisters in our pain and suffering, and that most times women are so busy being strong for others and trying to hold our families or situations together, that there’s no one there to comfort us. Mainly because women tend to suffer in silence. We don’t share our burdens, because we don’t want to burden anyone. We all know already how it feels to be the one who carries the burdens of others, and don’t want to intrude.

But women need to share. Not just our sorrows, but our joys and celebrations as well. There is a delicate balance to life, and within each tragedy arises hope if we will let it, and within each celebration comes the promise of sorrow. It’s simply the way things are. Life is not an endless series of highs, or an endless series of lows, but rather a blending of the two that move in a never-ending cycle. Have you ever seen someone crying for joy? A perfect example of the balance as it should be.

I have long believed that what brings you great joy will bring you an equal amount of pain. Therefore I go into any situation that brings me joy accepting that, and when the pain comes, I know it’s all part of the process. I’d much rather live that way than go through life feeling numb with a closed heart. It’s the pain that allows me to appreciate the joy, and to make the most of those precious moments when they come.

Out of these women’s pain came, if not joy, then great caring and kindness and love. That wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t been willing to stand up and share what they were going through. We wouldn’t have been able to reach out to them if they had stayed silent.

Therefore I honor them, and salute them for having the courage to speak up, and I feel blessed to have been a part of their comfort and healing. And now when I see them, I will remember that we are all going through something at any given moment in time, and will--as another woman suggested we all do when we see each other in the future--be happy to reach out in sisterhood with compassion and kindness.

Oh, and my word? It was peace.

Peace be with you, now and always.

The Kindness of Strangers

Last weekend my faith sharing group went on retreat together. A woman only one of us knew generously offered her cottage in the country for the six of us to get away from the hustle and bustle of our lives for the weekend and spend some time with God. Cottage was an understatement. It turned out to be a lovely three bedroom house with three bathrooms--including a claw foot tub and accompanying bubble bath—a huge deck, bonfire pit, living room fireplace and hot tub.

You could call it camping with style. The six of us arrived on Friday evening loaded down with foodstuffs and linens and all things needed for a camping trip such as utensils and paper towels and garbage bags and cleaning products, unloaded and sorted ourselves into the three bedrooms, then cranked up the oldies and enjoyed a delicious, hearty meal of home made chili, salad and Italian bread on the deck overlooking a slow, lazy river.

We’d planned to sit around the bonfire afterward, but everyone was tired—hence the need for a retreat—and after some scripture reading and a ceremony where we placed our burdens in God’s hands, we trundled off to bed.

My roommate and I slept in the Princess Room, generally designated as the room for our unknown hostess’s granddaughters, complete with white bunk beds and accompanying Princess Accoutrements. I slept in the top bunk, and let me tell you, I was quickly reminded of the amount of upper body strength needed to haul a (much larger than the last time I did it) peri-menopausal woman’s bottom-heavy body up a ladder and into bed.

But manage it I did, along with a quiet prayer that I wouldn’t be needing to make my usual foray into the bathroom in the middle of the night, for fear that I’d fall right off the ladder.

God answered my prayers. I both slept through the night and slept burden free. Got the best night of sleep I’d had in a while and awoke in the morning to the smell of coffee and a delicious breakfast bake created by our organizer extraordinaire and chef in residence, who doesn’t get much time to cook, and was delighted to bless us with her culinary skills. A beautiful bowl of fresh fruit rounded out the menu.

Just before breakfast our facilitator arrived, a lovely Sister of St. Joseph and spiritual counselor who had insisted on arriving early to share breakfast with us on the deck and get to know us before the program began.

The program, which lasted from 10 to 5, included prayer, scripture readings, Christian music, periods of reflection and quiet conversation about how much God loves each and every one of us. We broke only for lunch, which was a veritable feast of salami, provolone, an array of breads and rolls, more fresh fruit and a veggie tray. Snacks and desserts, which each of us had brought individually as our contribution to the cooking, were available throughout the weekend. Oh, and yes, a bowl full of chocolate occupied center stage on the coffee table throughout :).

After the program portion of the retreat, held in warmth and cozy comfort as we settled into soft leather furniture in the gathering room while the rain poured outside and swelled the lazy river to fast-moving proportions, we concluded by breaking bread once again with a crock pot meal of pork roast, potatoes and carrots, leftover fresh veggies and our wide array of desserts. Sister left with hugs all around, and we sat up late into the night, enjoying our wine, more oldies and quiet conversation in between trips to the out door hot tub in the now misty rain.

Sunday morning we were all moving slow. We had planned to attend Mass together, but our cook/leader had arrived with a nasty cold/sinus infection she had come down with the day before, and we chose to let her sleep in and get the rest she needed. So breakfast was a lazy affair, with people helping themselves to leftovers as they got hungry, and others dipping back into the hot tub in the still misty rain. Some chose to take advantage of the claw foot tub.

Once everyone was fed and bathed/showered, we began our craft project for the retreat, which I was in charge of, so you know what we did. Collages. For the next three hours, as red, orange and gold leaves continued to aimlessly drift into the river and onto the deck outside, we sat on the floor inside and listened to music and cut out pictures from magazines and created collages of items that spoke to us, laughing and sharing and sometimes passing pictures of interest to others back and forth. Afterward, we explained them to each other.

The original theme was items we wanted to bring into our lives, but everyone had a different take on it. Some started one side of the collage with negative images from the past, and moved to positive images for the future. Another focused only on her short term goals, what she wanted to bring into her life in the immediate future. Another used the collage to express the inner woman she was and intended to express more fully. Mine, as it turned out, was full of fall colors and bridges and roads, and trains and cars and references to journeys. Took me completely by surprise, it did. I’m still trying to figure out what it means :). But each of them was beautiful, and we were well pleased with our efforts and how quickly our individual themes emerged and meshed.

After the collages, we ate again, then went to work packing up and cleaning the house so that it sparkled and we left no sign that we had been there. A final round of hugs and we were off to return to our busy lives, renewed, refreshed and well fed, both physically and spiritually.

We’ve decided we want to do this again, and share our journeys along the way. But none of it would have been possible without the generosity of a woman we didn’t even know.

Birthday Blessings

After writing my post yesterday, I made up my mind to go to church to give thanks. I learned a long time ago that we don't go to church for "what we get out of it," or to bargain with God in any way about whatever situation may be going on in our lives, but to give thanks for what we have been given. I've been given more than I can possibly list in one blog post, but chief among the gifts I have been given are those of friendship, love and laughter. So off I went to consciously give thanks.

I don't go to church every Sunday, but when I am there, I am there 100%, fully present in the moment. I'm not sitting in the pew writing out checks, or talking to the people beside me, or making mental lists of what needs to be done when I get out of church or, God forbid, answering my email or phone. When I go to church, I am there to sing and pray and listen and give thanks, and that's all that matters to me in that hour. It's very freeing, to have that hour of simply being in the presence of God, and can bring me peace, clarity, determination, euphoria, or tears, depending on how the Holy Spirit chooses to move me. I choose to be God's vessel in that time and moment, open to whatever comes.

So imagine my surprise when my friends, whom I was supposed to go out to dinner with on Friday night, both turned toward me at the same time after Mass, and gave me big, loud birthday smooches on my cheeks, then invited me out to lunch. Half an hour later, we, along with my son, were seated at one of our two usual restaurants, and they were urging me to order my usual meal, pot roast. I do love a good pot roast and can't seem to make one to save myself.

Afterward, we shared a piece of peach pie.

Then we drove out to their house in the country and spent the afternoon just hanging out, going for a walk in the warm summer breeze, talking, laughing, sharing new finds--they are beachcombers--meeting new friends (their neighbors, who invited my son and I to return again with his guitar for a jam session) and reconnecting with one another.

I didn't get home until well after dinner, and when I did, I was still full from lunch. So they fed me, and in more ways than one. They fed my spirit, which had had a rough week, as well as my body.

It was a lovely day, leaving me feeling truly blessed. And it wouldn't have happened had I not gone to church to give thanks for what I already have.