Taking Time Out To Say Thank You

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. ~Eckhardt von Hochheim, German theologian, philosopher, and mystic

I’ve often mentioned in this blog the many blessings in my life, and how thankful I am to be so abundantly blessed. So today I want to share with you a little thing I do to remind me to say thank you throughout the day. It’s really quite simple. If you walk into my house, you’ll see Thank You notes of all kinds and colors discreetly propped up in different places. If you look closely you’ll see that they’re not all notes written to me by others. Some of them are, to be sure, but others are blank. The ones sent to me remind me of people I have helped in one way or another. The blank ones I use to remind myself to say Thank You to God for all His help, and the many blessings I have been given.

So if you’re looking for a way to increase your prayer life, here’s something you can try. Just get yourself a box of Thank You notes, and prop or tape them up in the places where you’re most likely to see them. In your house it might be your bathroom mirror, your bedroom nightstand, or even on the ceiling above where you nap or sleep, so you see it when you open your eyes :).

Your entertainment center might be a nice place to put one, or somewhere over the kitchen sink. Maybe even your laundry room, or somewhere you can see it when you fold clothes. You can put one near your computer, both at home and/or at work, or tape it to the top of your laptop. If you don’t work with a computer, I’m sure you can find a place to put one in your workspace, wherever it is. If you’re shy about people seeing it, a simple post it note with the letters TY will do. You’ll know what it means, and chances are no one else will even notice it there.

In your car, there’s the visor or dashboard, or even the trunk. Maybe you can find a place for one in your purse, or gym bag. If you have an exercise bike or treadmill, that’s a great place to put one.

Be creative. I’m sure you can come up with something special. And when you see them, just take a moment to stop, smile, and say Thank You.

Taking Time Out To Read, Rest, Relax, and Laugh

Today I want to write about the importance of getting away and treating yourself as a break to your overstressed life. Over the weekend I attended Deanna Adams' annual Women’s Writers Retreat at a lovely Victorian bed and breakfast in Willoughby, Ohio, The Homestead House, where each room was decorated with comfort and serenity in mind. They came with names…the Sanctuary, the Fine Arts Room, The Victorian Rose, the Speakeasy, the Railroad. Mine was the Railroad room, and boasted a train motif and a genuine pot-bellied stove. Others had canopied beds, gas fireplaces, claw-footed tubs, and heart-shaped Jacuzzis.

About twenty women attended the retreat, some driving in for the speaker sessions, and others staying in the B&B. The sessions included tips on public speaking, inspiration for your writing, including on-the-spot creativity exercises, and how to fill your writing with suspense, as in how to keep your reader wondering what’s going to happen next.

The atmosphere was casual and relaxed, with an assortment of wine available each evening. Oh, and chocolate. Plenty of chocolate. Some of us staying in the B&B attended the sessions wearing slippers, while the cold wind and snow blew endlessly outside. But inside we were having pizza and salad, and sharing stories and offering tips to each other on how to craft and market a better story, article, or essay. One woman had also taken up beading, and invited us to her room to show us what she'd been working on over the past three years. More than a few of us, I suspect, returned downstairs in awe of her creativity, and wearing a sparkly little souvenir of the weekend.

When the evening ended, we retreated to our rooms to relax and refresh our minds and bodies after the stressful drive to get there during one of the worst snowstorms of the season. In the morning we were treated to a four-course gourmet breakfast before launching into the day’s program, which included a roundtable discussion of our work and feedback on any problems we might be having in our writing.

I didn’t know any of the women at the retreat. Had never met any of them before, including my roommate, who generously offered to share her room with me so I wouldn’t have to stay at a hotel down the road. But conversation flowed. At tables and in artfully arranged sitting areas and in our various rooms—being the curious lot that we are, everyone had to go and check out everyone else’s room--we talked writing and editing and marketing and promotion and exchanged tidbits about our families and the endless amount of balance it takes to juggle all the roles we fulfill: wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, family caretaker and often breadwinner, in addition to being a writer.

What impressed me most about the group was the enormous amount of creativity and determination that existed in that one room alone. At the end of the second evening, we had an open mic session, which is best described as karaoke for writers. Whoever wanted to could step up to the podium and share something they had written with the others. We heard humor, irony, drama, history, angst, and pain. So much pain. I’d say most writers are drawn to writing as a means to express their innermost emotions. It’s a gift we have, that allows us to share our joys and our sorrows, our triumphs and tragedies, and in doing so inspire others to have hope, carry on, or even take up the pen themselves.

As I looked around the room at this marvelous pool of talent, I found it sad that women in our society are still treated as second class citizens with little to offer outside of our sexuality. In that room I witnessed kindness, compassion, creativity, courage, inspiration, intelligence, wit, and grace, and a kind of enduring strength that made me feel blessed beyond belief for the opportunity to meet and get to know these amazing women, most of whom I will probably never see again.

But for that brief moment in time we all came together, united in one goal, to improve our craft and share our love of writing with someone outside of our families, who quite often don’t understand the need to write and resent the time it takes away from our roles as listed above.

I think every woman, whether you’re a writer or not, needs a getaway weekend like that now and then, to help you to appreciate who you are and what you have to offer the world, and to help the people in your life who depend on you appreciate you a little more in your absence. I know when I get back my family is always happy to see me, and they wouldn’t have that eye-opening opportunity to miss me if I didn’t disappear every now and then for a few days of mental and emotional recharging.

Also, just to have a little fun. At the end of the second evening, those of us staying in the B&B decided to trundle through the snow-filled night into town and visit one of four drinking establishments available—including a wine shop, an Irish pub, and a martini bar. We chose the martini bar, where we each ordered a generous-sized martini from a menu of almost 40 varieties of martinis and, being responsible drinkers, a sampling of appetizers to go with it. Amid toasts and laughter, we shared pumpkin ravioli, fruit and cheese and crackers, bruschetta, and toasted pita bread with blue cheese buffalo chicken dip. For my martini, I settled on something called a Campfiretini, which was made up of Bailey’s Irish Cream, vodka, Godiva chocolate and toasted marshmallow syrup.

It was supposed to taste like S’mores. Instead it tasted like Bailey’s, which was no hardship :).

I didn’t even feel the effects, but knew better than to order a second one. All I know is I laughed and laughed, and at the seemingly dumbest things, just because it felt so good to be out and in the company of so many women I admired. Strong, independent women, with wit and intelligence and the ability to turn any story into one that had us hooting. Then we walked back to the B&B, still laughing and joking, and retired to our special rooms again, where my roommate and I stayed up a while longer, talking and getting to know one another.

The following morning breakfast was light—only three courses—but enough to keep me from getting hungry again until well past dinner time. More invaluable advice on how to make our writing shine followed, and then it was time to load up our bags, dig our cars out of the snow, hug everyone goodbye and head home, filled with renewed energy and inspiration and a determination to see our writing goals achieved.

I made a lot of professional contacts over the weekend, but also made some new friends. Friends I hope to see again and again as we return each year to be renewed and refreshed by good food, good wine, good conversation, good speakers, good writing, the soft glow of a gas fireplace and the warm hum of a Jacuzzi.

And maybe another one of those Campfiretinis :).

How To Create Memorable Characters

Today's guest speaker is once again the multi-talented Kathy Cottrell, editor extraordinare at The Wild Rose Press, (Kathy is the senior editor for our Last Rose of Summer line), author of two novels as Kat Henry Doran, and creator of beautiful custom-made tote bags. Check them out on her newly re-designed website, created by the incomparable Rae Monet, who also created my website.

Today, Kathy has kindly offered to share with us her thoughts on creating memorable characters. I apologize for all the underlining, as I can't seem to get rid of it despite many tries, and it doesn't show up in her original document. But when I transfer it here...

Oh, well. The information is just as invaluable underlined as not underlined. And now it won't let me add Kat's book cover to this post, so I will post this, and if it shows up, fine, if not...I tried!

First, we should think about the heroes and heroines we already know and love, then determine what is it about them that makes us return to the TV screen each week to get our fix of Brenda Lee Johnson on “The Closer”, Charlie Crews on “Life”; Adrian Monk on “Monk”, or read [again] our tattered copies of Kathleen Woodiwiss, Harry Potter, or Eve Dallas and Roarke.

Some of Ms. Woodiwiss' characters date back to the 70's and 80's, yet are unforgettable:
1. ASHES IN THE WIND is set in New Orleans at the close of the American Civil War. The hero, army surgeon Cole Latimer, feels indebted to a young waif “Al” after the boy saves him from drowning and offers him a job in the army hospital. It is months before Cole realizes “Al” is really Alaina, a gentle born Southern woman, hiding in broad daylight from Union soldiers because she has been falsely accused of treason after she transported letters to the family of a dead Confederate soldier.

2. SHANNA wears the hot sultry influence of the Caribbean Islands like a cloak, and moves from England, to the Indies, climaxing in pre-Revolutionary War American colonies. The heroine, Shanna, in order to meet her father's dictate that she marry, finds a man in an English jail who is bound for the hanging tree. She has him cleaned up before they marry; he agrees to the proposal only because she promises of one night of marital bliss. Just as bliss is about to commence, she coshes him over the head and flees back home. Of course the hero escapes and follows her to the Caribbean as an indentured servant. Of course he's looking for “bliss” while she's looking for peace and quiet. Another hoot of a story.

How do we intrigue the reader into coming back for more either by turning the next page or buying our next book? Donald Maas, in HOW TO WRITE THE BREAK-OUT NOVEL, suggests throwing one or both of them into the deep end of a strange pool, and be sure to hide a few boulders beneath the surface to keep them on their toes. Nothing was more fun than reading Eve Dallas try to cope with Roarke's immense wealth and numerous “toys”. In her futuristic crime series “In Death” series, Nora Roberts created a world where red meat and coffee are but fond memories of most people. Not so for Roarke who woos Eve, the street smart homicide detective, with a perfectly grilled steak, then a bag of Brazilian roasted beans.

We owe it to our readers to make our characters unique, but at all times believable. Brenda Lee Johnson, called The Closer because of her skills in closing investigations by convincing suspects to confess, is a transplanted Georgia peach, lured to the Los Angeles Police Department by a former lover/current Deputy Chief of the LAPD with promises he never intended to keep. While riding herd on a group of renegade homicide detectives, she builds her wardrobe at the local Volunteers of America store, never leaves a room without an over-sized handbag hanging off one shoulder; has a passion for anything chocolate; and every other phrase out of her mouth is, “Thank yewww, thank yewww very much.”

Going into the fourth season [I think], each of these secondary characters is a story in and of themselves. Lt. Provenza, who never dates women over 30, well . . . 40—if he's been drinking, has forgotten more than most cops will ever learn, and would sooner die in the line of duty than retire to prevent his first ex-wife from getting her marital share of his pension. Lt Flynn, a late 40's Lothario with a toothpick stuck in the corner his mouth, takes indolence to new heights. Ten years sober, thanks to Alcoholic Anonymous, Flynn harbors a grudging respect for Chief Johnson, but would choke twice and die before admitting it. Detective Julio Sanchez with the dark, haunted eyes, is the “go-to” guy when it comes to the barrio and gang cultures. He's also about as homophobic as they come. Bald Lt Tao is a wizard with computers; and Brenda's aide, the uptight Sgt. Gabriel, and a hunk if there ever was one, has eyes that would burn the soles off a woman's shoes. He's bright, savvy, intelligent and devoted to her.

As evidenced above, by the late Ms. Woodwiss' leading characters and the detectives who comprise Priority Homicide, one way to build memorable characters is to make them vastly different from each other. This takes some planning. I use a tool which I call the Character Interview. This is a multi-page document, a former RWA chapter mate brought back from the New Jersey Romance Writers conference many years ago. Over the years it has undergone many revisions but the concept remains the same. In long hand, I interview my lead characters. Before I can do that however, I have to know at least one basic thing about them.

In CAPTAIN MARVELOUS, I wanted a heroine with a brain and balls to match. The one thing I knew: she would do anything to achieve her career goal of becoming a physician and will let nothing and no one stop her. That's all I needed to interview Annie Wolfe. Why does she want to be a doctor? Why will she never marry and have children? I asked her to tell me about her family of origin; where did she grow up; did they have money, live from paycheck to paycheck, or did they eat out of dumpsters? Then I asked her to tell me about her family of the heart. Who are her friends, heroes, enemies? I need to know how she relaxes, what turns her on, and off, in terms of favorite foods, music, and clothes. What kind of car does she drive; how does she drive—is she a speed demon or careful and cautious?

I decided the hero had to be the exact opposite of Annie: staid, rigid and always in control—no matter what, a single parent with a desire for more children, someone who always follows the rules. Captain Ronen Marvelic, a New York State Trooper with a steel rod up his spine, was born. After being banished from the cultural hub of Western New York, he arrives in the bowels of the earth on the Northern border of the Catskill Mountains. No Man's Land is a place where a man takes a woman to the local drive-in for a Rambo marathon on their first date--or to the town dump to shoot rats. On his first day in town, Ronen encounters a woman who lives in the apartment across the hall, a long-legged, softball playing smart mouth named Annie Wolfe, aka Wolfgirl, for her abilities at short stop. He thrives on opera; Annie considers it all a bunch of fat ladies singing their brains out. He loathes sports of any kind; she has life-sized posters of baseball players and golfers papering her apartment. Ronen is assigned to investigate the murders of six women; Annie is coerced into helping him by developing victim profiles. Throw in a landlady who's a throw-back to the 60's, a decrepit town doctor with an amazing resemblance to my own father, and a 17 year old college bound teenager and the fun begins.

Don't forget to give your characters a few warts. After all, defects of character are what make this world go 'round. Annie Wolfe [CAPTAIN MARVELOUS] believes her only value is in becoming a doctor. While Ronen Marvelic [CAPTAIN MARVELOUS] has his career path carefully laid out, he disdains any woman who doesn't want a husband and children. Maggie McGuire [TRY JUST ONCE MORE] spent years living at the bottom of a scotch bottle and doesn't know how to pick out a good piece of fruit? Why would anyone think she's capable of picking out a good man? Eve Dallas [____ IN DEATH series] identifies herself by her job, and uses a prickly pear exterior to hide an inferiority complex as big as Montana. Mike Brandt [TRY JUST ONCE MORE] escaped a loveless marriage with only the clothes on his back, a cat, and a mountain of regret thanks to an ex-wife who cared more about titles and dollar signs. He's not about to hook up with some dame who carries herself like the Queen of Sheba and has more secrets than Homeland Security.

And that's how I create my characters.

Create a Collage for 2009

A couple of weeks ago I was flipping through some old Oprah magazines, looking for pictures and quotes I wanted to use to make a collage of all the goodness I want to bring into my life in 2009. Oprah puts out a very positive magazine, so I like getting ideas from that one. I made a poster-size collage six years ago, as a creativity exercise with some writer friends, and didn’t think much of it, other than it was a fun thing to do. But I liked it enough that I framed it and put it up in my bedroom.

Then the oddest thing happened. Within a few years, everything that I had put into that collage, which was about the things that fed my soul, showed up in my life. I kid you not. Without even thinking of it, just having it on the wall, my subconscious mind went about creating the circumstances that would be needed to bring the things in that poster into my life.

You can call it weird, but I know it happened. One day I looked up at this poster I hadn’t paid much attention to over the past couple of years, had barely looked at—you know how we tend to not see what is in front of us every day--and realized everything in it was now in my life. I was stunned. I’d read about this kind of thing happening, the power of intention and all that, but…

So over the holidays I created a new collage, one for 2009.

You might want to try one, too. All you have to do is go through magazines and clip or rip out pages that have something on them that appeals to you for some reason. A picture, a quote, a splash of color, even. Some of the stuff I ripped out made no sense. But it came together for me when I put the collage together. And you don’t have to use everything you clip out. I now have two files, one of pictures and one of quotes, to use for future collages. You can do them randomly, like free-association, or choose a theme.

It was a wonderful way to relax and have some “me” time in the midst of a very busy season. It’s also a great way to get rid of all those old magazines you have lying around and don’t know what to do with, too. If you don’t have time to do a full poster-size one, do a smaller one. There are no rules to this sort of thing. And if you're a writer, you can do one for your current work in progress, and post it near your desk as a motivational tool.

You’ll be amazed at how creative it makes you feel.

And, in a couple of years, you’ll be even more amazed by what happens.

Take care, God Bless, and let me know how it turns out for you.